breathe

On June 13, 2011, I lost my dad. From seeking advanced medical care to instilling faith in pundits and gurus, we tried everything to turn things around, leaving no stone unturned...but nature eventually played its role.

In the search for answers, I’ve realized that the search itself is a life-long journey. One thing I’ve come to understand – and deeply appreciate – is that death is raw, real, and universal. As Steve Jobs described it in his 2005 Stanford Commencement speech: 

“Almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

After stumbling through trying times, my future experiences unraveled with unexpected adventure. Life has given me a beautiful niece and two handsome nephews (who constantly teach me invaluable life lessons). I’ve built meaningful friendships with some of the most passionate people across the planet. And now, I start a new chapter, back to the life of a student, knowledge seeker, and experimentalist. 

With each opportunity to celebrate, I’m also reminded that my ultimate destiny will be the same as my dad’s – a box of gritty dust to be claimed by the Ganges. Life will have its highs and lows, and eventually, my act will come to an end as the curtains come cascading down.

Perhaps I’ll think that my story is not yet over…some parts have gone untold. Maybe I’ll think that there are people who need to know how madly I’ve loved them. There are forgivenesses I never asked for. There are places in the world I never saw, authenticity I never revealed, and dreams I never fulfilled. There are paths on this journey that I never embarked upon. Because of ego, I foolishly thought I had something to lose. Because of fear, I never unlocked my full potential. 

The truth is…we’re all slowly dying, one second at a time. From the moment that nature invites us in to experience this beautifully-crafted miracle of life, it strategically incorporates a journey back home. Some may think this truth is dark and not worth pondering…But what I’m saying is actually quite the contrary. This truth is what makes each and every moment so special, worth taking in and experiencing with a state of presence. This truth is what makes it important to find meaning in every interaction. This truth is a stark reminder to love myself and those around me. It means to find some sense of peace amongst the chaos and sleep well at night. It means to not take things too personally because I am already naked. It means to follow my heart - take that risk - because I have nothing to lose.

Soon enough, the heavy curtains will drop before this wondrous theater. This is irreversible. This is the truth. I can resist it – and even deny it – but that doesn’t make the process easier. Rather, why not make an exit with grace?

Let this be a reminder to surrender and appreciate this moment - Let this be a reminder to breathe.

first entry

In 2014, I wrote my first journey entry. During a one-month backpacking trip across Europe, I opened up an empty journal I had been carrying and put pen to paper. I initially felt a sense of fear, realizing that my thoughts would soon manifest into existence. But I’ve learned that this fear is also why journaling is so crucial. Often times, my thoughts flow through my mind and subconsciously influence my emotions. When I journal, however, my thoughts come to life...I’m forced to actualize what I’m thinking.

 As I look back and reread my entries --  written during times I’ve felt on “top of the world” but also during times I’ve been sick of it all -- I’m reminded that my perception of life and each moment is simply a reflection of my state of mind. At any moment, I have the power to shift because I’ve been in a state of happiness and peace before.

I’ve written these short entries for myself - and hopefully they provide some value to you. They intend serve as guardrails that remind me about my experiences and learnings. Hopefully, I will look back and realize I’m a better person because of them.